~Sharing News~
Newsletter of "Sharing Down Syndrome Arizona
September 18, 1998

To those who will read,

I am writing this letter in response to the question posed to me of how has my little brother's life impacted mine. When David was born I was only about 7 or so. Needless to say, I'm sure I didn't understand all that it meant even if my mom had told me that he would have Down syndrome. To me, it wasn't different than the birth of any of my other 5 brothers and sisters.

As we both grew so did our relationship. I knew David was a little different than most of my friends' little brothers. Usually, in a handicapped awareness day at school, they would ask if anyone had a relative with a handicap. I was, for the most part, the only one to raise a hand. Although a little shy in my class at that age, I never remember this being an embarrassment to me. On the contrary, it was something that I felt, even at that age, added value to my life.

Once, upon hearing of a noteworthy choice to do right I once made with a friend, that friend's mom observed that she felt my siblings and I have many qualities that she feels are a result of having David for a brother. While I can't claim to be possessing of much nobility in terms of attributes, I know there are certain things I have learned from David that I could learn from no other.

He obviously needed a little more watching over than most children. This was not always the easiest of tasks. Any member of a family blessed with a member who in some way may be handicapped, can attest to the fact that patience is something your learn, whether you like it or not.

But in addition to that, I feel that identifying with someone "different" gives one a new perspective on other people with differences, whether they be physical, mental, racial, cultural, or what not. One can not help but realize that all mankind must be accepted when seeing the pure love displayed by one such as David. That is the quality and virtue I would like to cite most of all: love.

I have never seen more love radiated than that which shines forth in the eyes and actions of these special people. I am grateful for the chance I was given to grow and love with David, and it is my continuing hope to ever become more like him in this aspect.

Simple as it may be, these are my thoughts. There will be hard times, often more growth produced by trial than we would prefer. The difficulty, however lies more in ourselves than the task itself. Thank you for listening to my words, and thank you David.
A grateful and loving brother,
Seth Johnson (age 20)
(Brother of David Johnson)

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As I mentioned, Dr. Beisecker compared what science is doing today (discovery uncharted worlds) to what Columbus did years ago. It is said he has made a great contribution to our world with his courage to go where others dared not.

At the end of the conference a man stood up to the microphone. He too, likened the Human Genomes Project the expedition of Columbus. But he asked a powerful question... "Is what Columbus did a great thing or a terrible thing?..." His answer said it all. ... "The answer to that would depend on which side of the ocean you were on. If you were one of the Native Americans who saw 90 % of their people annihilated, you may not think of it as a good thing."

Who are the watch dogs? Who will the scientists be accountable to? Science has no moral conscience. It does not know that if we interfere with God's will, we lose something precious in the process. We must all be accountable.

Dr. Chris Cunniff ( a man I respect greatly from the University of Arizona medical school) summed up what he had heard.

"We are awash with data. What we lack is knowledge and wisdom. Science is conscienceless. It gathers data, but it doesn't make decisions. It doesn't take in the moral or cultural dimensions of the patients."

He spoke of prejudging a patient, and then being "diminished in a significant way" as this man asked him why he judged him that way. He spoke of science having a power of it's own. He asked," But are we doing it in an appropriate way? We want diseases identified and we have the tools that allow us to identify kind of groups. We need to offer the kinds of care that will be most helpful for them. (the patients)

Acknowledgment of diversity is important. It needs to be an inclusive process, genetic care that produces a dialogue of those it involves. We need true social justice for everybody We do not want certain groups to benefit at the expense of others."

He spoke again of power. He asked, talking of us..."Will their voices be heard? There are issues of reasoning. Who are the researches? " He also noted,

" There is cultural mistrust within communities. Because we don't know about it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. How can we have a social justice agenda for everyone? Science is not morally neutral."

(Chris Cunniff, MD Director of Dept. of Pediatric, Section of Medial and Molecular Genetics, University of Arizona Tucson, Arizona)

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Listen to what my friend Kitty Coons who is working on her doctrinal thesis, feels about this conference.

"Dear Gina, It was so nice to see you. Thank you so much for letting me know about the conference. It was, in some ways sadly, very helpful to my research. My research is telling me that the ethical and medical people are using the money that they are supposed to be spending on ethics to sell their project - clearly, simply. Those who stand to benefit the most are big multinational pharmaceutical, computer, and insurance companies.

I learned as much at the 'lunch tables' as in the conference itself. For example, I was talking to someone about how some companies will profit tremendously even though taxpayers are putting 3 billion in this (and did anyone ask you?) There was a young female MD at the table and she summed it up by saying "Who cares who makes a lot of money, as long as we can eliminate disabilities?" Pretty sad.

They aren't listening to you, Mark (Trombino), to the people who are speaking with mulitcultural voices. They're just trying to let you think they are. Sorry, but that's the picture I see. It's a crisis all right, and guess who profits from the "Opportunity".

Well one thing, it has renewed my commitment to fight for diversity. Keep in touch!

Love Kitty."

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Can I tell you my life is nothing like I thought it would be when David was born. We play by different rules. But ours is a good life. My dear friend Kris Holladay spoke at the conference as well. Her daughter Kari, had the genetic disability called Trisomy 18.

In addition to be severely handicapped, babies born with this disability do not usually survive the first year of life. She said this project had been likened to a bull dozer, plowing everything in it's path. She said her main concern was "Who is driving the bull dozer?" Kris was the one person who impacted me the greatest when David was born.

Please permit me to share with you some insights Dr. David H.. Beyda (Director of Pediatric Critical Care unit at Phoenix Children's Hospital) wrote about her in 1988...

REFLECTIONS - 1988

Some months ago I had my wrist well and truly slapped by a 10 years old girl with Trisomy 18. Kari H. was admitted with vancella encephalitis with little hope of recovery. The fact that she had Trisomy 18 immediately 'labeled' her as someone not in need of aggressive therapy and, therefore, received care that allowed her comfort, but far less than the mega -aggressive approach we would have given to a 'normal' child. At the time, it seemed like a good plan.

Meeting Kari's mother for the first time, I prepared myself for the gibe I was about to receive. I expected to meet a mother with a fixed expression on her face that said, "Don't even try to imagine what I've seen or been through in the last ten years."

Truth be told, she was delightful and I was embarrassed. She was sincerely cordial and attentive. She placed no burden on me to accept the fact that Kari was special because she has outlived the medical professions' prophecy of an early death. She asked me rather to insure Kari's comfort and dignity. She expressed a foresight that impressed me enough to adopt her unique philosophy. Lest I begin to sound rather smug and righteous about all this, I assure you , I intend to be the contrary.

When Kari was born, her parents were told that she would not live more than a few days. The family grieved and waited. Kari's mother recounts the rest. "We waited, day after day, for Kari to die. She surprised us after the first week when she became easier to handle and feed. We gradually began to accept that Kari was in fact going to live, and we should make the best of it." Stroking Kari's forehead she paused for a moment. "We ... I, have lived with Kari for the past ten years with the same philosophy ... that everyday Kari lives, is a bonus ... a gift ... for which we are very thankful."

Kari's family incorporated her into their daily lives. With special effort, they were able to achieve a comfortable norm. Rather than trying to find ways to change Kari's shortcomings, they strived to find resources that would allow Kari to reach her potential, no matter how small it was. It was critical for them. It was critical for Kari. At the time of her death, Kari was wheelchair dependent. She required constant care and feeding. She has little if any verbal communications skills. She attended a special-needs school, and recognized family, friends, and teachers. She interacted with smiles and tears. Her quality of life was never in question. She participated to her fullest potential.

Her parents never denied her existence. They never denied either, her condition. This was the only attitude they could realistically adopt. Few parents, like those in their situation, ever find the commitment to achieve it. They become mired in emotions that distract from their ability to perhaps appreciate the fact that their child is alive and part of them. They lose sight of the family structure. Kari's parents were just as unique as Kari was. And that's why they worked so well together.

When Kari died, her mother quietly held her. Her bonus time had ended. In the pursuit of truth, I discovered my own shortcomings. I was ... am , quick to judge and label. Perhaps because intensivists must react quickly with little time to reflect on the potential shortcomings of any intervention. I began to realize that I will never be able to appreciate what my patients and their families feel unless I find new wisdom.

Looking to Kari's mother I found some. "Kari didn't die because she had Trisomy 18 did she? She died of chicken pox." In her own way she had made her point, subtle, yet concrete. Even by her death, Kari had refuted medical expectations.

I realized that quality of life is simply the ability to give and receive love. No more, no less. I reflect on this as I continually transition to maturity as a physician. There's really no second chance in this business. Perhaps you've heard it said before ... life is not a dress rehearsal.

"Truth has no special time of it own. It's hour is now - always." Albert Schweitzer (1875-1965)

Reprint of an article written in "KIDSAVERS" Volume 4 Number 12 December 1988 David H. Beyda M.D. Pediatric Critical Care Phoenix Children's Hospital Phoenix, AZ

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Ironically after that I attended the conference I attended a play called "And Then They Came for Me." It was the true story of two holocaust survivors who were friends with Anne Frank. It touched me deeply.

"And Then They Came For Me. "

First they came for the Jews
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for the Communists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a trade unionist.

Then they came for me --
and there was no one left
to speak out for me.

Pastor Neimoeller, Nazi victim

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Each life is a gift. We must never lose sight of that. "Down syndrome" isn't what David is. He is so much more than that. How do I tell the world of a young man who is afraid of the dark, yet who will ride the most scary roller coaster ride ever, and yell with joy, as I am trying to keep from throwing up? He is a boy who let all the neighbors dogs out of their fences after watching the movie "Free Willey", feeling sure they didn't want to be 'captured' either. He is a young man who has a crush on "Brianne" a girl in his 8th grade class. At one of the last days of school Brianne, came up to me.

She said, "Look what your son wrote for me." On this note, in his childish handwriting, he had written her name and his, and the word "love". She was so pleased. I choked with emotion. (A new love has come into his life, and it's not me. ) Twenty years ago this wonderful young man would not have been allowed in the same school as Brianne.

There are things David does not understand but he understands love. He understands hurt. He understands kindness. I pray that those overseeing the Human Genomes Project will gain a moral conscience. And if they do not, I pray we as those who love someone who has special needs, will "speak out" for those who can not.

From my heart to yours,

Gina Johnson

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Doctor to Jason Kingley's Parents:

He suffers from a severe form of mental retardation. He will never walk or talk. He will never distinguish your face from that of any other adult. He will never have a meaningful thought in his life. There is nothing he can learn. The customary practice with these types is to put them into institutions. Go home and tell your friends and family that he has died."

Jason Kingsley, thirteen years of age & living with Down syndrome:

"If I could meet that doctor today, I would want to tell him how smart I am. I want him to know that I do History, Math, English, Social Studies, and Geometry. I play the violin and the piano. I can ride horses, ski ,and I like the New York Yankees. I want him never to tell that to any parents of Down's baby that they can't be smart and know Mom and Dad. They shouldn't live in institutions where they can not get enough love. Give a baby with a disability a chance....I want to tell this to the doctor so that he will know and then he will be a better doctor."

(Count Us In " Living with Down syndrome by Jason Kingsley and Mitchell Levitz)

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Buddy Walk

The 'Buddy Walk' is an annual activity sponsored by the National Down Syndrome Society. The Buddy Walk is a time when we can get together as friends and family and celebrate our kids. It is also a way we can help promote public awareness for Down syndrome and to help us raise funds to reach out to new families. For the past three years I have been unable to attend because the event was held on a Sunday. But we are trying to work together to find a Saturday to have this fun day. Two wonderful ladies, Kay Greenfield and Lynn Goebel had worked long and hard to make the Buddy Walk a success. They are proud mothers who love their kids, but even more, they care about anyone whose life has been touched by Down syndrome.

We are pleased to announce that this year Sharing Down Syndrome Arizona is joining efforts with these good people to become a part of it. Although a date has not been chosen yet, we are hoping for a Saturday in October. ( 9, 16, or maybe the 23rd) There will be an organizational meeting held on June 12th plan for this. Our committee chair person is Becky Meisner. She too is a mom who really cares. Please feel free to call her for information or to offer your help or suggestions. We want this to represent all of the families in Arizona who love someone who has Down syndrome.

Call Becky at (work) (602) 279-9350 (her boss said it was okay :-) or (home) (602) 939-9483. I know how much work it is to put on something like this. I know too that so many of you are more than willing to help. Please call. We appreciate all that Lynn and Kay have done to make this event successful. I know how hard they have worked. Thank you Kay and Lynn.

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Sharing Meeting Schedule
1999-2000

Our meetings will be held on the third Thursday of every month. We will meet at the Mesa Student Service Building 1025 N. Country Club from 7:00 to 9:00 p.m. Yes, child care is provided. :-) We look forward to a new year with our many new families.

September 16, 1999 Marta Urbina - Family Network Director "Raising Special Kids" "How can I make services work for my child?"

October 21, 1999 Joan McCabe - Advocates Across America "Your child's' IEP and how to make it work for you."

October ...Buddy Walk - date to follow

November 18, 1999 Duff McDougal & Dr. Nelson (Duff is a delightful young man who has Down syndrome and Dr. Nelson, a special education teacher at ASU) You will love this night!

December 4, 1999 Christmas Dinner Party with our favorite person! (Ho Ho Ho!) - Gilbert Jr. High School

January 20, 2000 - "I'm okay with this, but how do I handle other people?" Betsy Trombino... How to talk to you mother-in-law and the grocery store clerk.

February 7, 2000 Valentine/ Sweetheart Dance (teens and young adults)

February 17, 2000 Sibling Workshop "I'm the big sister now."

March 16, 2000 Dr. Dan Kessler developmental pediatrician, Children's Rehabilative Services. / St. Joseph's hospital

April 20, 2000 to be announced

Thursday May 11, 2000 'Thank You Party' here at my home (note change from third Thursday to second )

"We must be the change we wish to see in the world." Mohandas K. Gandhi

"There are two kinds of people in this world; those you love and those you don't know yet." Anonymous